


Petalfall

by ElleWinter



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 13:04:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19830805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElleWinter/pseuds/ElleWinter
Summary: After Anthy's departure, Kanae had thought things would get better-- that Akio would have more time for her. When this turns out not to be the case, she tries to find something of her own in spite of all the pressures of her position and ends up finding, of all people, Touga.Complete





	Petalfall

When Anthy had left, it should have been a relief. Kanae had never been able to connect to the girl, had always felt something eerie about her presence. Though she admired the tender way Akio cared for her, she’d also felt left out, as if she was an interloper in their tiny family despite being Akio’s fiancee. Kanae couldn’t help the sneaking relaxation and sense of hope that had begun to fill her at the news. Akio should have had more time for her once Anthy had left for the sister school in Amsterdam. He should have been able to spend a few evenings with her, should have been able to set aside some of his duties in order to enjoy their time together. He should have been able to show that tenderness to her. **  
**

Instead, he’d become even more busy. He’d suddenly become so preoccupied that even Mother had remarked on it, saying he was neglecting his familial connections for work. Now finished school, Kanae’s only reason to be on campus was because of her position in Ohtori; it was strange for her to be roaming the school, but she had nothing better to do, no one to talk to. Even her friends had left the school after graduation-- and the outside world seemed so far away, too far away to reach. She had no purpose here, no duties. There was nothing to do but wander the school, looking for places to sketch or paint her watercolors.

The rose garden was forbidden to all but the Seitokai. She knew that. But as she stood across the courtyard staring at it, she felt a burst of resentment. This was _her_ school. She was the fiancee of the Rijichou. She should be able to go wherever she liked. Anyway, she didn’t want to touch the roses, only to paint them. Clutching her portable easel case to her side, she strode towards the rose garden, trying to pretend she had every right to be there. It was after hours. No one would stop her.

Grasping the handle of the glass door gave her a moment of hesitation, then a shiver of deliciousness. She’d never been one to break the rules, but this felt… good. What could they do to her anyway? She was the Rijichou’s fiancee. 

Pulling open the door sent a waft of warm, humid, lusciously scented air over her, and that was more than enough to dissipate the last of her hesitance. Kanae stepped inside the rose garden, looking around. There were the gardening tools, and there was a little bench to sit on around the base of the central column, and all around were the overflowing banks of roses, a riot of color and scent, each one seeming to beckon to her, to want to be touched. Kanae slowly walked toward them, dazzled by the sheer abundance of them.

It was only once she looked closely that she saw how neglected they were, and felt a pang of kinship. There were petalless heads here and there, leaves that had little holes as if some insect had been eating at them. Some of the roses were dropping their petals as she watched. The soil around their roots looked dry, maybe too dry. It wouldn’t be long before they were dying.

Struck by the sad similarity to how she felt, Kanae took a moment to look around. There was the watering can, still full. Once she was finished painting, she would water them. Even if she couldn’t do it for herself, she could at least lift the roses out of their neglect a little. Maybe she could ask Akio to change the rules so that she could find a gardener to take care of them. They didn’t deserve this.

It was starting to get late, the light dimming just a little already as the sun sank toward the horizon. If she wanted to paint, she’d best get started. There was one rose that stood out to her, a deep red one on its own, its blossom already blown wide and petals starting to dangle, as if they would soon fall. Something about how the shadow and light played on that one made it the only choice, at least this time. Kanae sat on the bench in front of it, unfolding her little lap easel and pulling out the palette and paints stored inside. She’d at least try to do this rose justice before it died.

Watercolors were soothing. The way the paint moved and thinned, letting her guide it across the paper, the small resistances it put up, the strange things it did when one color met another-- Kanae had loved it all her life. If she hadn’t been Kanae Ohtori and destined to be in society, she might have pursued this. But Mother wouldn’t hear of it; she’d set Kanae’s course, and there was no point in resisting it. Kanae knew very well that Mother got what she wanted, always. Resisting had gone badly for Kanae. And so she’d complied, and complied, and become so accustomed to complying that it was hard to imagine anything but tiny rebellions such as this, this stolen moment of her own in a place she shouldn’t be. She left herself sink into the work of painting, refining an edge here, adding different colors to the wash there, taking tender care with the lip of the petal that hung toward her as if reaching for her touch.

When the door opened behind her, she noted it absently at first, then came to full and nervous attention. She wasn’t supposed to be there. No one was supposed to know. Instead of looking over her shoulder, she drew on her dignity instead, squaring her shoulders. Best to act like nothing was out of place, that it was her prerogative to be there.

“I hadn’t expected to see anyone here,” a rich, deep voice said. Kiryuu Touga. She knew him, a little. He was in the grade below hers, and he was the Seitokaicho. If he complained…

“I wanted to paint the roses,” Kanae said, making her voice warm, as if she expected no retaliation. Sometimes when you acted like you didn’t expect punishment, they forgot to punish you.

“May I see it?” he asked. He hadn’t taken a single step toward her, just stopped once he realized she was there. That was… comforting.

Finally looking over her shoulder at him, Kanae took a moment to examine him. He didn’t seem upset, only curious; his gaze rested lightly on her, his body relaxed. She smiled, just a little. “Please. I’ve heard you appreciate art. I’d like your opinion.”

Kiryuu Touga was a playboy, and she knew that, but for the moment he seemed… more human, as if he’d set down his charming act. He smiled a little in return and came to sit beside her on the bench, not so near that she felt crowded, but near enough that it felt… companionable. He looked at her once again, as if silently asking her permission, and Kanae felt her smile widen as she nodded at the paper in front of her. It was unfinished, but it was already beautiful and she knew it. She had to judge these things on her own; Mother had never cared for her hobby.

When he looked, he did it seriously, studying the painting with interest that felt genuine; as he did it, Kanae found herself studying his face. It was easy to see why so many others had fallen desperately in love with him. The strong jaw and knife-edge cheekbones, the rounded curve of his bottom lip that seemed to echo the curve of the rose petal she’d spent so much time on-- he was beautiful. But to her, he’d always seemed flippant, shallow, self-absorbed. Not at all the quiet, companionable, interested person that he was now. 

After a long time, he said, “The way you did the glazing in the background is wonderful. The colors make the rose so much more vibrant. And that bottom petal…” He reached out, not touching the painting, but letting his long, manicured nail describe the curve of that petal, so like the curve of his bottom lip. “...it’s simply lush. It feels like you wanted to touch it.”

Without really understanding why, Kanae felt her heart start beating faster and her cheeks heat a little. “I did,” she said.

“Did you?” Touga asked, his calm, vibrant blue eyes flicking to her face, only curiosity showing there.

Kanae shook her head. She hadn’t touched anything. 

“Why not?” Touga asked.

She felt her cheeks heating again and brushed it off as best she could. No one had really shown interest in her for so long that she wasn’t used to it anymore. “I didn’t want the petal to fall before I could paint it.”

He nodded. “That would have been a shame. But you’ve painted it now. You could, if you wanted.”

His words seemed loaded with other meanings, as if something was going on between the two of them that Kanae could barely follow. But whatever it was felt so good, it felt so good to have someone really looking at her, it felt so good to have someone asking her what _she_ had wanted and what _she_ had done… Akio hadn’t really ever asked her so much as divined what she wanted and then done it, when he was paying attention to her. Mother never bothered, only told her what was best. This was so different and so unexpected that she couldn’t bring herself to shut it down, although she felt some vague stirrings of warning.

Kanae looked down at her easel and the painted rose, then up at the real thing. She could, after all. Even if it wasn’t allowed. That greedy little shiver of delicious disobedience ran up her spine again, and she set the easel carefully aside. Glancing at Touga once again gave her nothing more, only his interest, his curiosity, his attention fully on her. Before she realized it, she was leaning forward, reaching out, her fingers brushing the petal. It was soft, velvet beneath her fingertips, the surface giving a little beneath her gentle touch.

And then it gave way, the petal breaking loose, slipping from her fingers. Before she could register more than a little burst of irrational fear, Touga had moved, his hand beneath hers, catching the petal before it fell to the ground. His crimson hair slid over his shoulder, a veil between her and his expression; his hand came up, gently depositing the petal in hers, his fingers lightly pressing hers to cup it without crushing it. When he looked back at her, he flicked his hair back over his shoulder and drew their hands back between them, the petal held safe inside. “It’s yours now,” he said. “Keep it, if you like.”

They were so close now. He was so close to her, and he was so intent on her, watching her, _seeing_ her. The delicious feeling of secret disobedience seized her so that she couldn’t speak; if she had wanted, she could have abdicated responsibility for the way her other hand drifted up to his face, her thumb skimming the full curve of his bottom lip. But no. For once she was in control, and she chose it, and she knew it. He shifted beneath her hand, kissing the ball of her thumb. Just that, and suddenly her skin was at attention, her body ready to burst with longing. It had been so long since someone had seen _her_.

When his arms came up around her, she moved eagerly into them, her lips parting against his and the taste of him filling her mind, the newness of it, this secret pleasure that was all hers. He was different from Akio-- where Akio had overwhelmed her with the pleasure of his kisses, Touga responded to her every gasp and lick, building that pleasure together with her. He didn’t control what she did, he answered her movements, as if it was a conversation they were having in kisses and gentle nips and growing heat.

If this was what it was like to have a lover instead of a fiance… Kanae couldn’t help but compare. Akio had been the only one she’d ever kissed before, the only one who’d ever held her, stroked up her back as their lips clashed in sensuous combat. Part of her was nervously going over and over the reasons why she should stop immediately-- her duties, Mother, the school, Akio-- but that part was becoming increasingly drowned out by the part that had been starved of this attention for longer than she’d imagined, the part that was soaking up Touga’s focus on her like the thirsting roses would soak up water. When his hand slid up her side, pausing just beneath her breast, she felt a bolt of irritation. Why shouldn’t she have the things she wanted? Why shouldn’t she do what _she_ wanted for once instead of doing as she was told? The hand that was still cupped around the petal moved to his, urging it up to touch her breast.

No one but Akio had done this. And while with him it had been amazing, wonderful, this was… different. Akio had done what he wanted; Touga was doing what _she_ wanted, his thumb stroking over her nipple, teasing it into hardness, gently pinching it to send pleasure racing through her veins, gathering between her legs and throbbing there.

Would he…? He would, wouldn’t he? He had to have… many times. It wouldn’t make sense if he hadn’t, not with the constant cloud of admirers around him. At least one of them. Probably more… many more. 

Kanae had to consider very carefully whether she wanted to be one of those admirers… but her body was demanding more, as much attention as he would give. It wasn’t that she had feelings for Touga. She barely knew him. But she needed this, needed him to be there, to see her and recognize her and respond to her. He was giving her all of that in spades, the way he shifted when she moved closer, supporting her body against his, the heavy-lidded way he watched her face when their lips parted because they needed to breathe. She felt as if it was something vital that had been missing for her whole life.

So when his other hand slid down her hip, she let her legs fall open, stroking down his arm as if to coax his hand between them.

“Mmm,” he purred, then pulled away. Kanae suddenly felt panicky, as if she’d gone too far and he would say something, and then Akio would, or Mother would-- “Come sit here. It’ll be easier.”

He kissed her again, lightly, and then drew her into his lap, his back against the central column and her knees on either side of his hips. His hands stroked down her body, soothing now, as if he realized what was going on in her head. And all the while, he watched her face, his eyes calm and unworried. After a moment, she realized she could feel the hard bulge of him pressing against that center of her throbbing pleasure. Only once or twice had that happened with Akio. Another thought swept the panic aside-- what if she went further?

What if she had sex with Touga, here, now?

That greediness, that disobedient desire gripped her again. That was something she could always have for herself. That was something that wouldn’t be dictated to her or plotted out for her. That would be her own, her own secret, something that was all hers.

Yes. The only other thing she had was her paintings, and no one cared about those. This, at least, would be shared with someone who paid attention to her, at least in this moment.

Kanae met Touga’s eyes. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

He shook his head. “I would never make trouble for you. It would be ungentlemanly.” His gaze was steady and clear.

Did she even love Akio anyway, if she could consider this? She thought she did, but… she shook the thought off. He wouldn’t find out, and she could have this little secret of her own. Kanae felt her cheeks heat again as she realized what she wanted to ask. She never would have with Akio; he would have just directed her. With Touga, though… “Can I touch you?”

He smiled, and the curve of it made her insides twist, made her want to press herself up against him. “I’d love it if you would,” he murmured, his hand sliding up to cup her cheek, coaxing her into more of those wonderfully responsive kisses. His uniform wasn’t hard to undo; soon her hand was stroking down his bare chest, exploring him. He might have been a year younger than her, but he was muscled from years of some sort of exercise-- swordfighting of some sort, she supposed. All Seitokai members knew some sort of sword style, although she didn’t know why. Keeping that rose petal carefully cupped in one hand, she explored him with a hand and a half, caught between enjoying his kisses and feeling his body respond as she found spots he liked to have touched-- his sides, his flat nipples, the space between his navel and the waistline of his pants. 

In the meantime, his hands were lazily working their way back down her body, one of them lingering at her breast while the other stroked lower and lower. As her fingers reached the fastening of his pants, she felt him grind a fingertip hard between her legs, just in the most sensitive spot. A moan burst from her, reverberating in their kiss. Once her head cleared, it didn’t take long to figure out that he’d been telling her, in his own way, what he wanted. Of course she was going to listen. How could she not, when he was paying such close attention to what she wanted? Her fingers reached the fastening again, tugging at it, fumbling a little. This was new territory. With Akio, they’d never gone beneath clothes. When the button popped open, she was rewarded with another hard stroke over her clit, making her hands jerk as she shakily pulled down the zipper.

Once she had, once there was only one layer left between her hands and his skin, she felt Touga lift his hand, just for a brief moment, before it slid up beneath her dress, stroking up the tender skin on the inside of her thigh. A little high noise escaped her as he cupped the mound beneath her panties. It felt like something should have been screaming at her that this was too far, that she should stop, that she would get in trouble and disappoint Mother and Akio and that voice just wasn’t there. At all. Enjoying its absence, she lifted the waistline of his briefs, pulling them carefully down as he lifted his hips to make it easier.

His cock sprang free, hard and pulsing where it brushed her fingers. Kanae heard him purr into the kiss, and then he was easing her panties aside, his fingers finding her slick and wet with want. They traced around her entrance, delicately dipping in, then back up to her clit to rub firmly. That was when she had to break off the kiss, panting, too distracted to continue. Her own hands explored him, touching here and there, then grasping, stroking gently so that she didn’t accidentally hurt him.

Forehead resting against his, she touched him while he tormented her with his hand, his other one still tenderly pinching and plucking at her nipples beneath her dress. Once she had her hand wrapped around his cock, he groaned softly, murmured, “Yes, like that. Harder.”

She could stop now. She’d gone further than she ever had with Akio. But… she wanted it all. This strange moment out of time felt like it would be lacking if she didn’t take it as far as she could. With that in mind, she leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “Undo my dress. I don’t want to take it off, but…”

Touga understood. Still teasing her with one hand, still purring with pleasure as she stroked him harder, he flicked open the top few buttons of her dress, tugging it and her bra down to expose her breasts, never touching the scarf that wound around her neck. Then he surprised her, leaning forward and catching a nipple between his lips. Crying out softly as the pleasure shot through her, Kanae felt herself leaning forward into it, bracing herself on the column with the hand that held that carefully protected petal while her other hand stroked and toyed with his cock. The angle it put her hips at was almost right, she could almost just sink down onto him. Almost. She wasn’t ready yet. It was a little scary, not because of all the pressures surrounding it, but because… it was just so new. She’d thought this would happen on her wedding night, with Akio… but she didn’t want that now. That would be good when it happened, but this was hers. 

The finger Touga had been teasing her with began to dip further inside her, slowly, and Kanae breathed out a soft, “Yes,” making it absolutely clear with a shift of her hips that pressed his finger further inside her. She’d done this herself some nights when she’d been frustrated after leaving Akio, but having someone else do it was so incredibly different. Especially when he clearly knew exactly what to do, his finger crooking in a come-hither motion that suddenly had her hips moving, trying to get more of that amazing sensation. That was when all thought of anything outside the two of them and this moment truly evaporated; all she wanted was the feel of him inside her, whether that was his fingers or his cock.

His free hand came down to guide hers, helping her do what he enjoyed even as he distracted her with first one finger, then two, his lips laying a string of kisses across her bare chest to her other nipple and his teeth catching softly at it. Kanae’s hips were moving involuntarily, her heart pounding and her blood racing, pleasure shooting along every nerve. He was so good at this, good enough to turn even her inexperienced fumbling into something scorchingly sensual. She could feel the build toward orgasm starting, that slow implosion in the pit of her stomach that seemed to gather all of those sensations and compress them until they would eventually explode outward.

It seemed like forever and somehow only a few seconds before she was nearing it, not at the brink yet but getting closer, when Touga pulled his fingers from her and lifted his lips. “Now would be the best time,” he said, his voice sounding strained and uneven. “If you want.”

Kanae didn’t let herself think about it. She’d heard that it would be painful, but he was probably right-- she was close enough that a little pain probably would make much of a difference. Hopefully. Her hips moved, her hand angled his cock with his help, and then it was pressing at her, the head pushing its way inside.

It was easier than she thought it would be. There was hardly any pain at all, just a feeling of overwhelming fullness, unfamiliar but not unpleasant-- quickly growing to be pleasant, actually, as she took him in short thrusts, taking her time to adjust between each one, gratified at the way his breathing quickened and his body tensed beneath her. By the time he was all the way inside her, she was panting again, her body wanting to move, but her good sense telling her she should wait a while, at least until her muscles relaxed a little. Opening her eyes, she saw Touga watching her with barely restrained hunger, his eyes piercing and his jaw tense. Suddenly she understood that he was having to make himself stay still, for her, so that she would enjoy it more. A little burst of affectionate gratitude propelled her forward, catching him in another kiss, one that he eagerly responded to, his mouth ardent on hers.

By the time the kiss broke off, Kanae realized that her hips had started rocking on their own, a little wave of pleasure following each movement. And then there was no point in stopping, neither the movement nor the kisses, and so she followed them both, kissing Touga again and letting her hips rock more and more. It became a self-perpetuating cycle, with the pleasure spurring her on, that slow implosion building again inside her, every movement contributing to it and every little bit of enjoyment making her want to move faster, harder.

In a strange way, it felt like climbing a staircase, each thrust of their hips pushing her higher, making her dizzy and breathless. The pulse and pound of it was so enthralling that she almost didn’t care about what happened when she reached the top. But, sooner than she thought, she was there, feeling like any movement could set off the explosion she felt inside her, but not quite now, not quite yet. And then Touga’s hand slipped down from her hip to stroke between her legs, and everything stopped for one quaking, trembling moment, that implosion compressing further than she thought possible before suddenly bursting. Helpless to do anything else, Kanae clung to him while those waves of overwhelming pleasure raced through her, gasping and crying out against Touga’s mouth, the kiss forgotten entirely. Somewhere in it, she could feel him cry out too, his body shuddering beneath hers and his hips thrusting up, pressing hard into her. It was hardly important, though. This was hers. This endless moment of pleasure was all hers, something no one had decided but Kanae herself.

When she came out of it enough to recall where she was, her face was buried in Touga’s shoulder, her body pressed against his and the petal she’d tried to protect was crushed in her fist. It didn’t matter. It was more of a keepsake now than it would have been if it was untouched. She gave herself a few moments to catch her breath and then lifted her head, looking up at Touga. His catlike little grin of satisfaction told her all she needed to know; she smiled at him and began to pull herself into place, covering her breasts and redoing the buttons at the back of her dress.

There was no conversation until they were both properly covered, each of them helping the other not to look too mussed, and certainly not as if they’d just had sex in the rose garden in the middle of the school, where anyone could have been watching. Kanae felt a distant worry about that, but banished it as best she could. If someone had seen, most likely they wouldn’t say anything, and if they did, she could deny everything. Touga would back her up; she didn’t think he would want that kind of a scandal marking him just before his graduation. It could get him expelled.

As Kanae picked up her easel, she looked at the painting she’d done of the red rose, then glanced at Touga. “Do you want this?” she asked, gesturing to the painting. “It’s almost dry.”

His eyebrows raised, and he asked, “You don’t want it?”

“I’ve got the real thing,” Kanae said, showing him the battered rose petal in her hand before tucking it between two pieces of paper. She would press it in a book later, something stupid and silly like a romance novel that she knew Akio and Mother would never read. Something that was hers.

Touga appeared to consider. After a moment, he shrugged. “Why not? You have a lovely style.”

There was no talk of whether it would happen again. Kanae wasn’t sure whether she wanted it to, and she had the feeling that it wouldn’t really matter to Touga. But it might happen. Maybe. If she needed something of her own again, it could happen. Kanae handed him the painting, murmuring as she did, “Thank you.” There was no way to explain what she was thanking him for, so she didn’t try. Let him think it was for the sex, if he liked.

But when she looked up into his calm blue eyes, she had the strangest feeling that he did understand, and that he didn’t want to talk about it any more than she did. “Until we meet again,” he said, and left the rose garden, painting in hand.

She stayed a few moments after he’d left, smiling to herself as she watered the thirsty roses. This had been her decision, no one else’s, and she could keep that with her the next time Akio spoke over her or Mother decided for her. She had the proof that it had been real, after all, in the fallen petal.

***

Perhaps he shouldn’t have displayed the painting in his room, but Touga hardly cared anymore. Akio was barely present in the school, though Touga didn’t know quite why. He felt he should have, but… no matter. Anyway, the painting was pretty, and it matched his decor, and that had been a most interesting evening. It hadn’t presented itself as an advantage so far, seeing as Akio was less involved with the school and the duels had halted, but it was something he could keep in his back pocket and use if necessary.

Only if very necessary, though. There had been something about that encounter that he’d recognized on a very basic level. He didn’t think about it much if he could avoid it. It had just been sex.

But when Akio _did_ come to his room after so long away, he’d noticed the painting immediately after their dalliance, while they were both still naked in bed. Akio’s shoulders had tensed for a moment, then relaxed. “Hmm. I’d wondered what had gotten into Kanae lately. It appears it was you.”

Touga couldn’t help a smirk. “I only saw a princess in need of rescue and did what was necessary. She was grateful.” He glanced over at Akio. “You should be too. You’d much rather she left you alone anyway.”

“I may have a use for her yet,” Akio said thoughtfully, ignoring Touga’s barbs. “There does need to be a Rose Bride…”

Touga restrained his scoff. None of the Seitokai would duel again, and certainly not for Kanae. Akio had to know that. Not to mention that if he continued to ignore Kanae the way he did, she would never agree to it. 

“You don’t believe me?” Akio asked, his voice mild and curious in that dangerous way.

Touga chose his words carefully. “I’m sure, if you chose, you could make it happen. But you’d need new duelists. And I doubt she would be very good at it.”

There was a long pause, and then Akio sighed. “You’re probably right. I’ll have to keep looking. In the meantime, go ahead and keep her busy if you like. I need her for the moment, but I can’t afford to spend the time on her.”

“If she wants,” Touga said, trying to project indifference. He should have been indifferent in truth, but there was something he recognized in Kanae. Was it loneliness? It was strange. She could die tomorrow and he wouldn’t grieve, but… he didn’t quite want to be a part of anything that would affect her either, or at least no more than a furtive liaison in some dark corner of the school.

Touga had to admit to himself, too, that no matter whether Akio cared or not, there was something very entertaining about the idea of fucking Akio’s future wife. And… who knew? It could come in handy. Someday.


End file.
